Kya Bhooloo.n, Kya Yaad Rakhoo.n - 2

 In the third week of December, my engineering batch had its Silver Jubilee reunion at our alma mater. The weeks preceding the event were spent in an ever-increasing sense of euphoria, culminating in an awesome 2 days at the college, and it continues to be followed by ripples of bonhomie and irreverent banter.

Anyhow, during the build-up for the event, I shared a poem I had written long time ago, a prominent thought behind which was the cheer I found in those four years, and the loss I felt at leaving behind that carefree life and dear friends. The original poem is here:

Kya Bhooloo.n, Kya Yaad Rakhoo.n

I just wrote a post-reunion version of the poem, owing to the bittersweet feelings experienced at the reunion. (And taqdeer vs tadbeer was a thread of discussion going on the reunion group recently).

आज मिले हैं हम तक़दीर से, या मिले तदबीर से

मुद्दतों बाद हुई मुलाक़ातें, क्या भूलूँ क्या याद रखूँ

हसरतें लिए बस मिले अभी, अलविदा कह मुड़ चले अभी

रह गयीं कितनी अनकही बातें, क्या भूलूँ क्या याद रखूँ

बिछड़ने का हाँ ग़म है, साथ गुज़ारे लम्हों का मरहम है

उमड़ते जज़्बों की बरसातें, क्या भूलूँ क्या याद रखूँ

दरों में फासले सही मगर दिलों में फासले नहीं

मिली निस्बतों की सौगातें, ना भूलूँ, मैं याद रखूँ

Baki hain

This is the last post for 2012, and another outburst on the recent turn of events. Hope 2013 starts on a better note!

हमारी सब्र के और कितने इम्तिहान बाकी हैं
हश्र से भी आगे कितने तूफ़ान बाकी हैं

हर मोड़ पर खड़े हैं जो सब वहशी हैं या दीवाने
है कौन सी वो जगह जहाँ इंसान बाकी हैं

ज़ख्म दर्द ज़ुल्म तड़प सब दे चुका हम को
ज़माने के और क्या एहसान बाकी हैं

जुबां खामोश है, दिल नाशाद हैं लाचार हैं
हमारी आज़ादी की क्या पहचान बाकी हैं

हमारी हार का जश्न न मनाना मगर अभी
कि दिल में दबे हुए कुछ तूफ़ान बाकी हैं

Hamare Desh Mein

I read these lines long while ago (if I remember correct, these were a reader's contribution to Khushwant Singh's column 'With Malice Towards One and All'). They had a powerful impact, and its perhaps due to the punch they carried that I still remember them after 20 odd years.

अब झील पर पानी बरसता है हमारे देश में
अब खेत पानी को तरसता है हमारे देश में

अब आदमी का खून सस्ता है हमारे देश में
अब ज़िन्दगी का हाल खस्ता है हमारे देश में

अब लीडरों, अफसरों और पागलों को छोड़ कर
कौन खुल कर हँसता है हमारे देश में

The events of last few weeks have left me outraged, like so many of my compatriots, and this feeling found expression in the following verse (obviously inspired by the one above):

अब ज़हन-ओ-ज़ुबाँ पर पहरे हैं हमारे देश में 
अब ज़मीर हो चुके बहरे हैं हमारे देश में

अब डर के बदल ठहरे हैं हमारे देश में
अब नफरत के कई चेहरे हैं हमारे देश में

धडकनें थमी हुई हैं, दर्द भी खामोश हैं,
अब दिलों पर ज़ख्म गहरे हैं हमारे देश में

***

अब आज़ादी का रंग बिगड़ता है हमारे देश में
अब मासूमों का भाग्य उजड़ता है हमारे देश में

अब सत्य असहाय रो पड़ता है हमारे देश में
अब फरेब का झंडा गड़ता है हमारे देश में

ईमान लुट गए हैं, इन्साफ बिक गए हैं
जुर्मी है अन्याय से जो लड़ता है हमारे देश में

फूल बिखरते हैं

हर रोज़ एक नयी चोट लिया करते हैं
बरसों में जाकर कहीं ज़ख्म भरते हैं

ज़माने हो गए उसे भूले हुए फिर भी
उठती है एक टीस जब उस गली से गुज़रते हैं

दुःख के मौसम भी लगते हैं मन की डालों पर
सहमे हुए से खुशियों के फूल बिखरते हैं

धुआँ बन कर उड़ गयीं दिल की हसरतें
जाने कहाँ जाकर ये बादल उतरते हैं

मन की उलझी राहों में से कौन सा उस तक जाता है
किस गाँव में बसते हैं जो ख्वाब सँवरते हैं

कोई याद यूँ ही कभी छेड़ती है दिल का साज
गीत बनकर फिर वही दर्द उभरते हैं  

The Dreamer

Have you ever held fast
On to a passing moment,
Tried to make it last
Wishing it would never end ...
Even as you know
That its beginning to flow ...

Have you fumbled to capture
An elusive memory once again -
That is but just a blur
Eroded away by time and pain.
Even though it cant revive,
Only if for a moment, wished it alive?

Do you seek the flowers,
Growing in most unlikely places?
A rainbow amidst showers,
And clouds' myriad faces?
In the darkness of the night
Do you look for stars in the sky?
With your eyes, follow the flight
Of a gently flapping butterfly?

You may not be the power
That moves the earth,
But you are the dreamer
Who makes it worth
To move with it, but at your pace,
And make it a more beautiful place.

ज़रूरत नहीं रही

Also from archives (June 2011) ...


तेरी दुनिया में नेकी-ओ-इबादत नहीं रही
ईमान-ओ-सुकून से जीने की इजाज़त नहीं रही

फूलों से खुशबू तितलियों से रंग हुए जुदा
बच्चों के खेल में भी मासूमियत नहीं रही

मजबूरियों ने उठाई तो है आवाज़ दौर के खिलाफ
अंदाज़ में लेकिन वो बगावत नहीं रही

यूँ तो पत्थर शायद पिघल भी सकता था *
दिल में बेकरारी आवाज़ में शिद्द्त नहीं रही

दीवारों के शहर में कौन बोले कौन सुने
अब दिल की बात कहने की आदत नहीं रही

दोस्त मिलते हैं गले पर वो जोश कहाँ
लगता है अब उनको मेरी ज़रूरत नहीं रही

===========================

* Reference from Dushyant Kumar's lines:

वो मुत्मइन हैं कि पत्थर पिघल नहीं सकता
मैं बेकरार हूँ आवाज़ में असर के लिए

भूल गए

From the archives (June 2011) ....


कुछ लम्हे हमने याद रखे कुछ लम्हे भुलाने भूल गए
कैसे कह दें हम अपनी बरबादी के ज़माने भूल गए

कुछ अपने ग़म की दवा करने हम पास गए थे मसीहा के
दिल पर जो सबसे गहरे थे वो ज़ख्म दिखाने भूल गए

मिलता नहीं अब हमको भी कुछ उनसे कहने के लिए
और वो भी हमसे मिलने के सारे बहाने भूल गए

यादों के बीहड़ से आगे दूर बहुत निकल गए वो
जज़्बे खो आये रस्ते में रिश्ते पुराने भूल गए  

देखें

सब तरफ इस दौर की संगदिली के निशान देखें

हर ख्वाहिश बेचैन, हर ख्याल को परेशान देखें

क्या कहना ऐसे हौसलामन्दों के सफ़र का

वो ही मंजिल मान लें जिस राह को आसान देखें

तुम थे तो फुर्सत कहाँ थी हमें अपने मश्गलों से

जो तुम चले गए तो सूने घर का सामान देखें

आईने में भी कोई अजनबी सूरत नज़र आती है

किस से अपना पता पूछें कहाँ अपनी पहचान देखें

दिल खाली से फिरते देखें सजे हुए बाज़ारों में

सड़कों पर उमड़ते हुए जज़्बातों के तूफ़ान देखें

तेरी दुनिया में निस्बतों की कीमत क्या है

लोग दोस्ती में भी नफा-नुकसान देखें

Kya Bhooloo.n, Kya Yaad Rakhoo.n

कुछ भीगी भीगी सी बातें, क्या भूलूँ क्या याद रखूँ
वो सीली सीली सी बरसातें, क्या भूलूँ क्या याद रखूँ

ठंडी बौछारें हलकी फुहारें, मिट्टी की सोंधी ख़ुशबू
तपती दोपहरें, ठिठुरती रातें, क्या भूलूँ क्या याद रखूँ

खनक हँसी की बहती हवा सी, गहरे ठहरे सन्नाटे
वक़्त ने दीं क्या सौगातें, क्या भूलूँ क्या याद रखू

तन्हाई गुनगुनाती थी कोई उदासी भरी ग़ज़ल
गुमसुम खामोश मुलाकातें, क्या भूलूँ क्या याद रखूँ

कभी रहते पलकों पे ख्वाबों के जुगनू, छुपी कभी

आँखों में अश्कों की बारातें, क्या भूलूँ क्या याद रखूँ

Raat ke shaane se

Another one from archives (Oct 2010) ...

रात के शाने से आँचल नींदों के ढलक जायेंगे
गिरते सँभलते यूँ ही जबीं-ए-सहर तलक जायेंगे

दर आँखों के बंद कर लो कि ये एहसास छुपे रहें

पलकें अगर खुलीं तो ये दर्द छलक जायेंगे

ख्वाब फिरते हैं हकीक़त के शहर में बंजारे से

सफ़र पे निकले तो ये मुसाफिर दूर तलक जायेंगे

तमन्नाओं के बेबस पंछी बैठे ज़मीं पर तकते हैं

मिले अगर परवाज़ तो फिर बाम-ए-फलक जायेंगे

बेफिक्र सी हंसी पर कभी गौर भी तुम करना

इस मद्धम सी धार में तूफान झलक जायेंगे

 

On coding and Debugging

It's such a pain to ship my code -
It runs very well in the debug mode.
But when I give a demo and hope to make a splash,
All it does is throw up a crash.
And the customer consigns it to the trash!


* This one's from the archives (Sep 2010) .... thought of sharing the few things I have written in this long absence, on the blog. Will post more over time ...

Parody time

Sharing a very beautiful and poignant poem by Gulzaar ...

Subah subah ek khwaab ki dastak per
darwaza khola, Dekha,
sarhad ke us paar se kuch mehmaan aaye hai.n

Aankho.n se manoos thay saare,
Chehre saare sune sunaaye
Paao.n dhoye, haath dhulaaye,
Aa.ngan mei.n aasan lagwaaye,
Aur tandoor pe makki ke kuch mote mote rot pakaaye

Potli mei.n mehmaan mere
pichle saalo.n ki faslo.n ka gur laye thay

Aankh khuli to dekha ghar mien koi nahin tha,
Haath laga kar dekha to tandoor abhi tak bujha nahin tha,
Aur ho.ntho.n per meethe gur ka zaiqa ab tak chipak raha tha,

Khwab tha shayad,
Khwab hi hoga,
Sarhad per kal raat suna hai chali thi goli,
Sarhad per kal raat suna hai kuch khwabon ka khoon hua hai.

***

But does this all matter to a nerdy software engineer? All s/he cares about are awards and bonus ...
With due apologies to Gulzar sahib ...

Subah subah login ki dastak par
mailbox khola, dekha
corridor end wale room se kuch mails aaye hain. (1)

Requirement se P0 the saare! (2)
Issues saare sune - sunaye
Meeting bulaayee presentations dikhaye
Brainstorming sessions karwaye
Aur StageGate ke template mein kuch mote mote docs banaye. (3)

Attachment mein mails mere
pichle release ke project ka award laye the

Aankh khuli to dekha award kahin nahin tha
Test chala kar dekha to fix abhi tak chala nahin tha
Aur hothon par nightout ki coffee ka swaad ab tak bidak raha tha

EPS kam tha shayad (4)
Bonus nahin milega
Samandar paar kal raat suna hai deal huii thii
Samandar paar kal raat suna hai ek aur acquisition hua hai. (5)

reference:
(1) Corridor end wala room - the room at the end of the corridor, which belongs to my manager
(2) P0 - The highest priority customer requirement
(3) Stagegate - A specific (fussy) format in which we are required to write our functional specifications
(4) EPS - Earning per share - which determines the half-yearly bonus
(5) When a company acquires another, its share price typically falls, causing employee bonus to be cut back


PS: Apologies to the readers who do not know hindi, but this is a case where i cant provide a meaningful translation for either the original or the parody ...

Inki Boli Hai

Recently, there was a poetry writing contest in my office. The rules were simple - the second line had to end in a given phrase, the rest of the poem had to be in form of couplets, the second line of each rhyming with the given phrase [I wonder why they didn't simply say - Ghazal!].
The poem could be in hindi or english, the phrase for English poems was 'that is what I call fun', and the one for hindi was 'inki boli hai' (this is how they speak).

To state the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth - I didn't win a prize in the contest; but I was one amongst nine to get a participation prize (though I don't yet know what the prize is going to be).

Dil mei.n liye zeher phirte hai.n
Upar se meethi meethi si inki boli hai

Mahalo.n mei.n baith aaraam karei.n khud
Auro.n ki mehnat pe bharti inki jholi hai

Daulat aur taakat hai.n bahut dikhaane ko
Leking andar jhaa.nko to aatmaa poli hai

Yu.n kahne ko hai.n ye sevak junta ke
Logo.n ke dukh-dard par inki hansi-thitholi hai

Lagta hai mujhko praapya uchit inka
Taaj nahin hukumat ka, bandook ki goli hai


Their hearts are filled with poison
On the surface, they are sweet spoken

They luxuriate in their palaces
While others' toil fill their lockers

They have a lot of wealth and power to show
But if you search inside, their soul is hollow

They are the servants of public, so to speak
But for them the common man's sorrows are a joke

I think that what they rightly deserve is
Not the crown of a ruler, but a bullet

Farewell Song

This is a short poem I wrote for the farewell of a colleague. For those who missed it earlier, here is the context.

We've been used to seeing him around, forever
Never thought we'll have to see him leave
Not just days, but years to remember
That it's a thing of past, is hard to believe

From noon to night, him you can catch
Doing the rounds with the dreaded list in hand
His passion for "rightness" is hard to match
In "healthy discussion" with him you can hours spend

A great sense of humor, a deadpan wit
He'll not let you get bored the slightest bit
He has driven a car with open driver's door
We heard no-one can beat him on dance floor
On these things and more, we shall dwell
Long after we've wished him a fond farewell

Yaadei.n (ek baar phir)

Memories -

An endless flow
Like water in the rivers
Waves of thoughts
Ripples of faded pictures

Like a cloud in the hills
A wisp of smoke that lingers
Drifts away on closing the palms
Floats from between the fingers

Yaadei.n -

Jaise ek nadi ka paani
Jaldhaaraa bahati anant si
Khayaalaat ki chanchal laharei.n
Dhundhle drishyo.n ki ek tarang si

Parvato.n mei.n Thahre baadal
Dhuei.n ki lakir se
Ungliyo.n se fisal jaate hai.n
Band hatheli ke beech se

Tanhaii [Loneliness]

Jogi ka ghar kitna tanhaa hai
Miil ka pathar kitna tanhaa hai

Chalta hai koii saath mere
Dil magar kitna tanhaa hai

Tanhaa aataa hai, jaataa hai
Ye bashar kitna tanhaa hai

Jivan chakra hote hai.n poore
Par safar kitnaa tanhaa hai

Kishtiyo.n ka maksad saahil hai
Ye bahar kitna tanhaa hai

Umra bhar band rahe seep mei.n
Khwab-e-guhar kitna tanhaa hai

*** *** *** *** *** *** ***

How lonely is the wanderer's home
How lonesome is the milestone

Someone walks by my side, but
The heart stands on its own

How lonely is the human being
He comes alone and goes alone

The cycles of life get over
But the journey is oh! so lone

The boats' destiny is the shore
Ocean's heart embraces cyclone

Enclosed in a shell for a lifetime
A pearl's dream remains unknown

Zaroorat (Necessity)

I just found JV's blog, who has posted the ghazal : Gulshan ki faqat phoolon se nahin, kaanton se bhi zeenat hoti hai.
Undoubtedly, it is a very beautiful ghazal, with amazing lyrics, and beautifully sung by Jagjit Singh.

I just want to bring to notice the same thing, in the light of my day-to-day work ....

Product ki faqat features se nahin errors se bhi zeenat hoti hai
Chalne ke liye software ko bug ki bhi zaroorat hoti hai

Ai Project leader poochta hai tu ek PCR ka status
Yahan roz crashes milate hain yahan roz PCR hoti hai

AE ne commitment maangi hai late de na sakoon date de na sakoon
Delay par customer maarega date doon to musibat hoti hai

Jo likh de sare comments code mein uski knowledge bemani hai
Jise lay-off na kar sake manager us developer ki kiimat hoti hai

Glossary:
Bug: A mistake in software code
PCR: Product Change Request (Bug/Error report from customer)
AE: Application Engineer (Person who reports customers' problems to development team)

Bas yaadei.n rah jaati hai.n

Things I have been reading, talking about, thinking, in the last few days gave rise to the random thoughts, that gradually took the shape of this poem ...

Yaadei.n -
Jeevan ke madhur palo.n ki
Rakh leti hoo.n mai.n sahej kar
Beshkimti nidhiyo.n ki tarah
Ratnjadit, makhmali bakse mein.
Kholti hoo.n use phir kabhi
Nikaalti hai.n, nihaarti hoo.n
Un yaado.n ko.
Waqt kuch der ke liye theher jaataa hai ...
Chand lamho.n mein
Ek beeta hua yug jii kar,
Phir se samet leti hoo.n
Jawaaharaat jaise
Yaado.n ke satrangi sheeshe,
Aur rakh deti hoo.n
Man ke bakse mein
Resham kii Dorii se bandh kar.

Atiit ki kaTu smritiyaa.n
Maine kaid ki hai.n
Man ki kisii andheri kothri mei.n.
Lekin kahaaniyo.n ke
Shaitaan raakshaso.n ki tarah
Woh bediyaa.n toD aati hai.n kabhi kabhi
Kahar Dhati hai.n, dil dukhati hai.n
Sadiyo.n se lambe kuch palo.n tak.
Jab un par kaboo pa kar
Baandh kar rakh deti hoo.n
Phir se ek andhere kone mei.n.

Aur zindagi ki jadd-o-jahad
Yu.n hi chalti rahti hai ...

The pleasant memories of life -
I keep them carefully
Like precious treasures
In a bejewelled box, lined with velvet.
I open it at times,
Take out those memories
To recall and remember.
The time stops for a while ...
In those few moments
I re-live an age gone by,
And once again gather
The memories that are colorful mirrors,
Just like jewels.
And tying them with silk ribbon,
I place them back
In the box of mind.

The bitter memories of the past -
I have imprisoned them
In a dark cell in the mind.
But, they break their chains
And escape, sometimes,
Like the evil demons of fairy tales.
They wreak havoc in life,
And torment the heart
For some moments that last forever.
Until they are captured and chained,
And caged again, in a dark corner.

The struggle continues ...
The life goes on.

Thought for today ....

Kacche dhaagon se bandhe hue, woh din jaane kidhar gaye
Rishton ki Dori TooT gayee, Ashqon ke moti bikhar gaye

Just a thought

Zindagi ke sehra mein, tashna-lab har ruuh hai
Har kisi ko justajoo hai apne aab-e-hayaat ki !


In the desert that this world is, every soul is thirsty
Everyone seeks their own special nectar !